December 27, 2025

just past my house
on the dead-end street it lies upon
is a strange sort of
Wishing Well
and, well, it never grants wishes
instead it grants
Fears

but the nice thing is
most of our fears
are far worse in our heads
than they ever are
in real
life

so my fear of spiders
erupted
but didn’t bury me
as i’d assumed it would

and my little brother’s fear of losing his favorite toy
of course happened by him
dropping it in
but it was the late nineties by then
and his tonka truck was available
at any toys r us
and it “magically reappeared”
the next
morning

and my friend’s fear of
losing her grandfather
of course happened the minute she touched
the side of the well
but she also got to say goodbye to his spirit
which stopped by
at that very spot

so

so

well

i guess

what i’m trying to say is…

now that my fear is societal collapse
and ultimate armageddon,
but i also can’t see how we’ll get out of this
very rough point in history
without it
i’ve been thinking about that
Fearing Well
a lot
and wondering
if it’s still just past my parents’ old house
on that dead end street
and if believing in the magic of the object is enough
to cancel out the fact that
this fear is now
a wish
as well

December 26, 2025

i’m not really feeling writing

but i’m not really feeling
not writing
either

guess i’ll just
meander about this document
with words
[because that’s not writing
but it’s definitely not
not writing

right?]

December 24, 2025

eves are still for
excitement and
possibilities

no matter how old i grow
or how pessimistic i think i’m becoming
i still have the idea for what could be
just on my vision’s horizon

[i hope i never lose that]

December 23, 2025

so tired of all this allergy
or whatever it is
that’s making me puff up
like some sort of
animal balloon

first lips
then eye
then one little finger

will the rest of my body
fill
with hot air?

or am i going to be
deflated
soon?

December 22, 2025

it feels
so silly to me
how i can only accomplish chores
when i’m actively avoiding
other
chores

[procrasinactivity
procrasticomplishment
can’t do a task? add a new/more time sensitive one
and watch yourself procrastinate that task
with the original one!]

[so much fun…!]

~~~

i can do it
i can do things
i can do scary scary things
i can do things that seem overwhelming
because, in the end
they tend to be
just things
and this is
just life
it’s all ephemeral
and liminal
and temporary

[what lasts may just be
vibes]

~~~

like, i mean, the vibrations you send out into the universe

i totally meant that
when i first
wrote it

December 21, 2025

so interesting
that i’ve been on such a
space
kick
recently

like i’m so done with our world
and how we treat this planet
that i’m hopeful
out in space
at least
something
is different

[how dare billionaires get to explore interstellarly
when i’d like to do such
just to get the fuck
away from them]

December 20, 2025

sometimes
subjects will mull around in my brain
for days
weeks
maybe months
[sometimes years]
before i write them down
in poem form

it’s like steeping a tea full of thoughts
so that, when i go to write it, it’s actually flavorful enough to taste

and perhaps taste is the way words come to me
[i do care about mouth-feel]
and expression is as much about
the emotion
as it is
the explanation

so the next time i’m pondering a subject matter
and think to myself “why haven’t i written it out yet?”
i can just answer
“it’s still stewing
still steeping
still brewing
give it time
give it time
it’ll taste better
with a little more time

[have you ever
not
written it out?]”

December 18, 2025

this puppy
is so damn cute
i cannot handle it
i cannot handle it

playing with the squeaker of a long-gone toy
placing it gently in my hand
and nudging it forward
for me to throw

and the utter delight as she scrambles
on all of her feeties
trying to catch the squeaker as it bounces
unevenly
across the floor

or the container from yesterday’s dog ice cream
handing it off to me
in order to play tug
or just lick it some more
getting the last little bits of flavor
out from the waxed cardboard

or just laying on the ground
and looking up at me
with her giant, beautiful, trusting, dark-rimmed
puppy dog eyes
and white eyebrows
[evolutionarily placed there
just so her species
could mimic mine]
and i don’t always know what she’s thinking
but i know she’s trying to communicate with me
with little
stomps of her feet
or half-breathy boofs
or a hesitant wag of her tail
or just a side-look
and my heart melts
and i am putty for her
because she is putty for me
and we collapse into each other
enjoying being
puppy and human
and not too dissimilar
for a moment
in time